Love(s)

Love(s)

Oct 29, 2021 | Love

Love is something we discuss with others (or at least should). We point to it, demand and laud it. But what is it?

Are all loves the same? When we teach our kids about love, we explain it in a way that encourages them to think on it as if it were a timeless sort of thing. It is exists as some sort of truth, as if any deviation from it represents a failure on their respective part.

What if love is a construct? What if how we experience love results from cultural constructs that reinforce a worldview, a theory about human life? What if love is not a definitive thing at all, but rather itself a theory that frames our experience in a way that allows us to try and make sense of it?

Are all loves the same? Do you love the same way now as you did 20 years ago? Is what you felt 20 years ago not love? In 20 years, what will you think about how you love now?

Perhaps love is only defined in context and in relationship with others and, in turn, our very selves. Is love a verb? Is it a noun? Is it necessarily something we can satisfactorily describe in words to others?

Is love the ability to answer the demands of others in the ways they say they need? What if we think their worldview is wrong? Is love the ability to do for others in the way they need even if it contradicts our own views? Is that love, or is that disturbing?

Is your version of love better than mine? Can we both be correct? Do we love the same way and for the same reasons in all circumstances?

Which kinds of loves matter? What if they all matter? Do all loves ask us to do the same thing(s). Love may indeed be real, but perhaps it exists in the plural, which may in fact call into question whether any of us exactly understand when another says, “I love you.”

The Hate

The Hate

Sep 17, 2021 | Love

It is so easy to lay blame, point fingers, puff up our chests and essentially ‘hate’ what is around us.

Society subtly encourages angry thinking in its creation of various competitive platforms whereby people are challenged not to look within, but destroy something outside themselves.

Our lawns must be greener than our neighbors, our houses must be taller or shinier, we must be impervious to aging and eradicate our wrinkles. We need to join the gym and sweat, fight, and otherwise stick up our proverbial middle finger at a universe that is watching our every move.

Turn on the TV lately? We have reality shows where we have the unique opportunity to watch either rich or entirely boring people act stupid, ugly and just wrong. We cannot turn away, because it provides a glimpse into ourselves, and we have trouble loving that.

Love is not an action, a word or a thing. It is a way of life from which one cannot turn away, because it is at once an action and a thought, bound by space and time. It is a wave of energy, a particle, an electron floating, spinning, bouncing through the quantum universe.

In reality, though, do we know what love is? Do we really know? Does society really want us to love? Is that how things get promoted or sold?

Let’s place blame, assign guilt, puff up our chests like peacocks and parade before an empty universe. Let’s built towers and structure, monuments to ourselves that time will tear down over the eons. 

Nothing we do will last. We will be the subject of incredible archaeological finds 175 million years from now. Will love last that long?

The answer is not clear, but the effort to love seems important. It matters. It is a feeling that is an end in and of itself. Will it last forever?

Does love really matter? For as long as we are on this earth, it does. Hate takes a short life and twists it into a black hole. Black holes are scary…

Jumping Ship

Jumping Ship

Jul 22, 2021 | Millennials

There is something to be said about jumping off of the proverbial ‘Millennial Falcon,’ this notion that people in their 20s and 30s do not just understand social media better (and they do), they understand more about life.

It is impossible that any one generation has THE answer(s), but millennials benefit from the visual nature of social media, which ‘captures’ their enlightenment. It is a preposterous idea, but one marketed to great effect.

Imagine if Baby Boomers had access to such technology in the 60’s? Surely, their message of peace and love seemed right. We see copious footage from TV and movies that demonstrate the force of their beliefs, but what we are missing is the platform of social media afforded to millennials that codify their ‘brand’ of knowledge.

What do millennials know? They know how to use technology, and this singular bit of knowledge bleeds into other areas of life and society. They know things, and with the click of a button this knowledge will be imparted to all.

There is something magical and yet predictable in the knowledge of young people. They KNOW, because they do not know what they do not know. Add on 15 years, a divorce perhaps, the birth of a child (or two), debt, wrinkles, the loss of one’s hair or job, and what you have is reality.

Reality is not pretty, nor do millennials possess a deeper understanding of it than anyone else. Like anyone, everyone, they are what they are, and it is neither good nor bad.

It is time, however, to abandon the ‘Millennial Falcon.’ Like all modes of transportation, it will eventually run aground or get blasted from the sky.

It is time to jump ship…

Motivation

Motivation

Jul 18, 2021 | Strategy

We have all heard it. “If I were you, I would…”

Is such a statement meant to motivate, or is it instead a strategy by which we assert our position in life? Is it motivation at all?

What is our positionality? Positionality is the idea that one’s personal values, views, and location in time and space influence how one understands the world.

In the context of motivation in an organizational setting, one way to think about ‘the other’ is to simultaneously recognize and balance the idea that he, she, them possess as much reality and/or validity as you. ‘They’ are you insofar as they are nothing other than themselves, which is an ontological idea with a specific, although loose, claim on the nature of existence.

What is ontology?  One of the longest standing ontological questions in philosophy concerns the existence, or not, of God or some sense of a higher being.

This seems abstract except when we frame this concept within our social, shared reality. Does reality exist independently from an observer, or is it something to be negotiated with others?

How we answer the above question is important, because it will inform how we think we should motivate those around us. If we believe there is an objective reality, we may not feel we need to understand another’ s positionality in order to advise them. If, on the other hand, we believe reality is a construct, one created with others, our belief in our ability to motivate others will be shaped by whether we think we understand their position in life.

The extent to which we feel the need to understand others is a reflection of a worldview, one that informs behaviors. Our worldview is often hidden from us. We often react, act, make statements, and conduct our affairs as if there is a bottom line that supports our rationale.

When we seek to motivate others in the workplace, it may behoove us to consider what it is we think we know and feel before we lay claim to what is needed to perform in a particular role.

“If I were you” could be reframed into something like, “I’m not you, but here is what has worked for me. Would you like to hear my view?”

There is a direct correlation between the effort we can make to consider the thoughts and feelings of others and what we receive in return. Is that statement a fact, or just the opinion of the writer? Doees the writer believe what he/she/them writes?

What is their motivation? What is yours?

Objectives

Objectives

Jun 29, 2021 | Strategy

When it comes to managing projects or people, although perhaps there is no difference between the two, the term, ‘objectives,’ is often used. 

The thinking behind objectives is that it is necessary to create ways to measure progress toward broad-based goals, which often allow for substantial intepretation. Intepretation, though, can be dangerous, in business. Isn’t this why managers seek to control the variables in any equation? 

Without measurable objectives, our staff may end up achieving any number of goals, none of which, however, may be the ‘right’ one.  Perhaps, though, there is a way to reframe such discussions about objectives.

Is an objective a truth, or is it relative to the the understanding or persepctive of the individual (manager) who has conceived it?  The very word, objective, implies something truthful. What if we hit all our objectives along the way toward a goal? What if we achieve our goal only to discover that what we envisioned as success does not work?

Whereas it may be easier to dictate the objectives to others, such a rationale reinforces the limited ways of thinking that plague not just business, but thinking in general.

When managers hatch their proverbial plans, there is an underlying assumption that the goals and objectives therein defined are somehow true. More than that, these goals and objectives are viewed as (the) truth.

Is there such a thing as truth? Perhaps a better question is whether there can be more than one truth at one time.

One possible answer to this question could be found in the perspectivist view of science, which Alrøe H. F. & Noe E. (2014) indicate implies there are many scientific truths about any complex problem. The question for them is not how to select the correct one, but how to  appreciate and use what Longino says is “the nonunifiable plurality of partial knowledges” (2006).

The next time you enter a meeting — virtual or in-person — pay close attention if the conversation veers toward the predictable ‘goals and objectives.’