The Loneliness

The Loneliness

Feb 6, 2022 | Social Media

It has been reported that the feeling of loneliness may be correlated with the use of social media, and, even at face value, there seems to be merit in these reports.

It is rare–or does it even happen at all–when someone posts the moment of a sadness, the moment when something went absolutely wrong. “Wait, stay right there, let me grab my phone so I can take a picture of you crying at the news your grandmother just passed away.”

Such “moments” do not happen, because there is something patently absurd about stopping a moment to share it without fully experiencing it. There is something terribly isolating when one uses social media to the extent that it becomes embedded in one’s experiences of moments.

We are missing something out there, and technology can capture it. wait, we can edit the moment with a filter. We can edit reality itself, right?

Maybe we can. Maybe reality is turning into a digital experience. Maybe we are evolving, and love, hate, anger and sadness can all be adequately felt through a screen.

There just seems to be something so lonely about the experience of social media, staring down at a tiny screen, plugging into a matrix that mines your use of it for data that is then sold to companies that try to sell you. Social media is not all bad. There are wonderful moments captured on there that indeed are beautiful, raw, poignant.

Rather, we are referring to the rank and file, the ones who watch others on social media in abject silence. These are the forgettable people who are not worthy of being watched themselves. They are lonely, maybe even petty, possibly not. They are right, however, about one thing. They are forgettable–and most people are, which is a shame.

The Validation

The Validation

Nov 2, 2021 | Social Media

There is something deeply disturbing about the validation required by many today.

Did we eat the right food, say the right thing, buy the right product, look good doing it?

While not completely worthless–it is very rare when something can be designated in such a manner–social media is pretty close. Do we really need to say things to an audience of people that we for the most part do not know or honestly even care about?

Do you really care about Roger Jones, that dude you never talked to in 4th through 12th grade, but now 20 years later like each other’s posts about grilled cheese and babies?

Admittedly, there must be something biological that occurs when we post snippets of our lives on social media platforms. It sort of feels good. Yeah, our lives rock, our kids are too cute, our knowledge is too stellar.

It is crap. It really is a bunch of crap. There is something to be said for living within one’s own mind and heart and the parameters of a life you created with your own hands. A life that can be turned off or erased, which is entirely the case with social media, is not real.

The time we spend updating people we do not know, care about, or possible even like, can perhaps better be spent on the people with whom we work, love, or trying to love, etc.

There is an emptiness to social media, a puffing up of the proverbial chest, a step back into our primordial minds in which we must have sought validation wherever we could.

Validation cannot be bought, sold, or offered through video screens. Rather, it is an experience inside one’s mind, earned through breathing, letting go, crying, making mistakes, quitting jobs, landing them, giving birth, saying goodbye, falling down and getting up. 

Social media validates itself–that is all it does. It validates technology and the sadness we feel, but rarely express…

The Isolation

The Isolation

May 18, 2021 | Social Media

For those of us who sometimes feel isolated and alone, social media can tend to make us feel worse about ourselves. We are not part of the scene that is social media. We don’t have as many “likes,” “shares,” or “follows.”

Whatever social media is measuring, we don’t have enough of it. We are always missing out on something. Did we see the latest tweet or Instagram post of whoever is trending at the moment?

Honestly, do any of us really remember the most impactful Facebook post of our lives? When was THE moment we saw THE post that unlocked THE answer? There was no such moment.

The world is not a static image that one may ‘click’ at one’s leisure. It is a world of loss, tragedy, murder, rape, love, hope, deception, hunger, homelessness, awful humans and much, much more.

Social media enables us to look outward so we can avoid looking within. It is not all bad. There is beauty in it, too, but there is also something very isolating about the experience of it.

Social media packages reality into sound-bytes and pictures that show others what we want them to see. It is a carefully, although often thoughtlessly, curated experience that does not reveal the fact that our lives are lived in our own heads.

How do we capture the reality of reality in a format that primarily reveals the lives of others through images and/or videos that capture very limited points in time? There is no context for what we are seeing, no before and after, which is real life.

Do you have “friends” on Facebook that in fact have no idea who you really are? Were they high school friends that you have not seen in 20 years? How are we using the term “friend” now? Are you our friend?

There is something subtly quite isolating about social media. We can connect with the world without ever leaving the screen of our handheld device. No, that is simply and utterly false.

Regardless of one’s age, we make time to physically meet the people that matter — and that number may be in the single digits. Social media allows us to participate in something without really being part of it at all.

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